“Dear Arden,

Lately, I’ve just been feeling overwhelmed by everything going on in my life and it feels like everything is crashing in all at once. It’s like I’m stuck in some sick game of whack-a-mole, where as soon as I deal with one thing, something else pops up. This leads me to being stressed out constantly, which leads me to prioritizing one thing whilst slipping in another, which causes me to get stressed about failing in that other area, and it just leads to a vicious cycle where I’m stressed and behind constantly. My procrastination gets really bad whenever I’m stressed too, which just worsens how far behind I’m falling. It’s tough to reach out and ask for help from my friends or family, because I don’t want to be a burden or a disappointment, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this. It’s just been a lot lately, so you got any advice for me?”

-Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed,

I think you know what it is you need to do – it’s right there, near the end of your message: you need to reach out and ask for help.

I understand that asking for help is not easy. I myself struggle with asking for help because I always feel like I’m bothering someone when I ask them for help. But that’s absolutely ridiculous, because I love helping other people, so what possible reason do I have to assume that they wouldn’t at least tolerate helping me?

Also, you are not and will never be a burden, so stop that kind of thinking right now. You are allowed to ask for help and talk about your feelings – whether that be to your family or your friends. Obviously there are boundaries that come with talking with your friends, but, based on the fact that you’ve been bottling all this up all this time and haven’t said anything, you are clearly nowhere near crossing these boundaries. As long as you are not going to a friend and expecting them to magically fix your problems (because, in this case, you will be disappointed), it’s okay to tell them what’s on your mind. So, go talk to someone. Take a break from whatever it is that’s causing you stress and just talk; I promise you will feel better.

Now, for a more permanent solution: if you are miserable, maybe it’s time to stop taking on new things. You don’t have to quit anything that you’re already doing (although this might be helpful), but you should, at the very least, stop adding more “moles” to your so-called “whack-a-mole game.”

Ultimately, if you ignore everything written here, please, please pay attention to my final piece of advice to you: Take. A. Break. Do it. If not right now, as soon as you possibly can. What you choose to do during this break is up to you, but the most important thing is that you do not think about anything that is causing you stress during this break, so choose something that will not just distract you, but engage you so that you are unable to think about anything else. I would suggest finding a really funny YouTube video, playing a fun game, or reading an entertaining book. I promise it will help you relax, if even for just a moment, and you will feel so much better.

If you need anything else, please refer to the graphic below.

Hang in there,

Arden

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